Last August, I came home from a road trip through the Rockies to find out my cousin Bear Diaz had gone missing. After getting off the phone with his mother, My Amazing Wonder Woman of a cousin (more like a sister) Lani Thompson, I texted Bear on the off chance he might pick up for me. Silence. For the last...going on 9 months now there's been silence. I never understood the term "My nerves are shot" until then. The phone would ring, or the dog would bark, and we would all jump. Riding down a country road  no longer meant a peaceful drive, but a search. With every curve of the road, I'm looking down or up wondering where he could be. I look behind every tree, and in every car that happens to be next to me at a stoplight. It's hard to go to sleep, especially when your husband works nights. Most nights, I'd stay up waiting for him to come home. The kids too. It became the new normal. Summer turned to fall and I would watch the leaves change colors (as much as they do here in California), and I'd admire them but in the back of my mind I'd be thinking, "Bear, you're missing it." He'd of loved our last fall. He was an artist, and he appreciated nature and colors. The worst is knowing you can't do much to bring him home. Some of Lani's friends have found ways to get involved. One got in touch with the right people to get a billboard put up on the highway in town with his picture and contact information. Brilliant! Another friend practically became an investigator overnight. So ambitious. Me, I went to art school. What can I do? How can I help? Aside from prayer, (and I don't mean to downplay prayer- we have all brought Bear to the throne as a family, as a community, and individually) but I can't rest knowing a mother is without her son. All of us want to do something. We want to end this. I tried to calm my spirit down by playing my guitar, but all that came out was this melody, and then words..."Hey baby I've been calling" and in a matter of minutes I was once again pouring my heart out on my rainsong. I wrote "Sweet Home" and put it away. I have played it once for an audience. I assumed I'd never share it with family members. Then Lani tells me she needs a song for a documentary she's making. I have a song. She talks about how expenses can easily pile up, and she wants to have a live music fundraiser in September. I can do that. Now we've been discussing putting the song (which she's still not heard yet) on my current album and any purchase of that song will go directly into Bear's account with the intention of bringing him home to us one way or another. Useful at last! It reminds me of Three Amigos when all the town could do was sew, but they defeated El Guapo and saved their village. There's a lot I can't do- Math, ice skating, spelling, technology, etc...but the things that I can do have value. We've all got a certain skill set. Using it for good is essential to being at peace within yourself. I'm grateful every time someone gives me an opportunity to help in the ways that I can. Love you Lani.
For additional information, go to www.bringbearhome.com Thanks for reading!
